I would often talk to friends who were pregnant at the same time as me and hear their excitement for everything related to pregnancy. I felt guilty because I didn’t have the same excitement. Was I thrilled beyond words that I was pregnant? Absolutely. But, miscarriage takes some of the joy out of pregnancy. I say some because I didn’t feel like this each and everyday. I honestly was happy and I felt blessed. I knew deep down that my little miracle was meant to be. But, there were days when the worry took over. It was a constant inner battle with myself. This battle lasted until the moment I delivered my baby girl. Even as I was checked into the hospital, hooked up to IV’s, listening to my baby on the monitor…I worried. What If… It never went away for me.
I can’t go through it again. It just hurts too bad.
Those were my thoughts. Then, it became my reality.
But, I got through it. I found the strength I didn’t know I had. It wasn’t easy and some days were better than others. But I wasn’t going to let it stop me from the end result. I knew that a year or a few years of heartache and loss could not compare to the lifetime of happiness a child would bring us. That is how I CHOSE to look at it.
If you find yourself pregnant after miscarriage, know this…
Keep your faith. You have a little angel looking over you each and every day.
Trust that God has a plan for you and your miracle on the way.