I didn’t know if I had that in me. I was an emotional wreck. I was depressed and quickly becoming bitter.
I found it very hard to hear pregnancy announcements or see babies. I used to love babies and now I shied away from them like they were poisonous to the touch.
We’re now at 14 months and I’ve yet to have my first post pregnancy period. I’m hopeful that it’s because I’m still nursing, but I’m scared it’s because my ovaries are once again covered in cysts and they’re keeping me from ovulating.
Our journey is far from over but with one successful pregnancy under our betls I feel a bit more confident going in for round #2.
Infertility and more importantly miscarriage will always be a part of me. It has shaped me as a parent, for the better I feel as I will never take my child for granted but it has also made me more cynical and bitter as a woman.
I am so very grateful to have this little man in my life but feel the scars of losing our first baby whenever I think about expanding our family.
To anyone experiencing a miscarriage just know you are not alone. I let my journey become public, albeit unwillingly (announcing a pregnancy at 12 weeks only to lose a pregnancy means you have to sort of UNannounce your pregnancy) and it became my salvation. SO many people came out of the woodwork to share their own stories of miscarriage and I reached out to the blogging community and found even more women to share my grief with. One in four pregnancies means your bound to know someone who’s experienced a miscarriage as well and while it doesn’t heal the wound, knowing there are others going through the same thing helps ease the ache.
Thanks again Leah for letting me a part of this amazing series. Infertility and miscarriage should be talked about not hidden behind closed doors!
Come back next week for Lisa’s story.
If you would like to guest post as a part of this series, I would love to have you!