Three sweet words, I don’t hear often enough.
As AG gets older, she’s becoming more independent.
“Mama, I want to get down. I want to walk by myself.” Gone are the days of going to Target with a baby on my chest and the second in the cart. She now wants to walk all by herself. Which usually turns into running and chasing her around the store.
The other day, she opened the pantry, pulled a step stool up and grabbed a granola bar. “Mama, my tummy is grumpy, I need something to eat.” She didn’t ask for help, she did it herself.
One of AG’s favorite things to do is get L up from his nap. Last week, she heard him crying on the monitor. She came over to my computer, grabbed the monitor and told me “mama, l’s awake.” She proceeded to go to his room and opened his door. She looked back at me, moved her hand up into a stop motion and said “no mama, I got him.” Bless her big sister heart. She walked in singing the song we sing when we get him up and received the BIGGEST smiles I’ve ever seen.
When did she grow up? When did she get old enough to be able to do all of this on her own? I can’t take it. As much as I love this little lady she’s turning into, it takes a toll on my mama heart.
But the other day, at 6:45am I heard “mama, I uuup” on the monitor. When I heard it, I looked at the clock and noticed it was before 7am. I was just finishing up clearing out my inbox and had one more thing I wanted done before the kids were up for the day. I took a deep breath and headed upstairs to get her. When we came back down, I asked if she wanted to watch Daniel Tiger while I finished something up. Still focused on the one work task I wanted to check off my list. She looked up with her big brown eyes and crazy hair and said “mama, hold me” reaching her arms up for mine.
I scooped her up and pulled her into my arms. Her head rested perfectly on my shoulder and her arms hung on tight. I grabbed a blanket, found a comfortable spot on the couch and we snuggled in. The house was silent. Just me and my sweet girl in my arms as the sun started to shine through the tiny holes in the blinds.
The things on my to do list no longer mattered. It was one of those moments where time stood still. I didn’t want to blink or move, I wanted everything in that moment to stay the way it was forever.
I listened to her breathe as she gently stroked the back of my arm with her tiny fingers. I took in her scent, rubbed her back and engraved the moment into my memory forever.
What she didn’t know that morning was I needed that as much as she did. These are the moments parenting is all about. The moments of pure sweetness and unconditional love. The ones that make you think you’re doing everything right.
I’d hold you forever, sweet girl.