It was a Saturday morning, around 6am when the monitor started to pick up little sounds coming from the kids’ bedrooms. The Saturday morning routine was for hubs to take AG to gymnastics and I stay home with L. It’s the way we’ve done it for the past year. But on this particular day, hubs suggested I take her to gymnastics. I quickly agreed.
Right then, my mind immediately started thinking about the things I could get done during that time. As a mom who works from home, with at least one child home at all times, I have to get creative when it comes to getting my work done. When I do have some quiet time, my mind immediately goes to the work that needs to be done. Since the parents sit in the bleachers and watch, that meant I had a good 45 minutes to myself. My plan involved hot coffee and catching up on emails. I knew I could get through them all in the 45 minutes I was there.
We got ready, headed out the door, made a quick stop at DD (hot coffee!!) and were on our way.
We arrived at the gym. As I was unloading AG out of the car, she gave me directions of exactly what I had to do.
“First, you have to put my shoes in the cubby. Then you have to walk me out to my teacher. After that, you can go upstairs to watch me. Mama, you’re going to watch me, right?”
The mom guilt hit. My thoughts had been focused on getting things done. All she had thought about was having mommy there with her on this particular day. Something that never happened, which made it even more special.
Right then, I made a decision not to pick up my phone. Not to even take it out of my purse. There wasn’t anything more important than being a proud mom cheering on her little girl who was growing up way too fast. Nothing more important than being in the moment.
It was the best decision I could have made. Not only for her but for me.
If I had gotten my phone out to go through emails that day, I would have missed it.
I would have missed seeing her point up into the bleachers saying “look there’s my mommy!”
I would have missed the hops, the skips, the jumps and rolls through the obstacle course.
I would have missed her trying so hard to get her hand stand up against the wall.
I would have missed seeing her turn around to look up at me and wave after she completed each activity.
I would have missed seeing her fear getting onto the zip line and then the high five celebration with her teacher after she did it.
I would have missed the little fall off the balance beam and the thumbs up saying I’m okay that followed.
I would have missed seeing her help the little boy who didn’t know where to go.
I would have missed seeing how much fun she was having.
If I wasn’t there that day, I would have also missed this awards ceremony and the bear hug that followed.
Sometimes it’s hard for me to just be in the moment. Hard to clear my head of the could have, should have or would haves. I struggle to step away from the to do list. I need to be better about it.
I will be better about it.
These are the moments I don’t want to miss. These are the moments that are fleeting as the kids grow up. The moments, I’ll one day give anything to get back. Nothing on my to do list is more important than that.